How many Nicks would a nickname name, if a nickname could name Nicks?

"Of all eloquence a nickname is the most concise: of all arguments the most unanswerable." ~William Hazlitt

It was in the news recently that special, top-secret (that's code for "cool") nicknames have been decided upon for the family of our new president-elect. In case you were under a rock that day, aren't American, don't visit yahoo.com on a daily basis, or forgot (me!), here are the nicknames, and my brief commentary:

Barack Obama = Renegade. I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it seems all rebellious and tough and Robin Hood-like, which is really attractive and nifty; but on the other, it makes me think of an irresponsible teenager, like Aladdin, for example, running around and being scolded by his elders. "That renegade lad will come to no good!" they say, wagging their heads wisely.

Michelle Obama = Renaissance. A nice name. However, I would have preferred "Revolution," seeing as this is America, and not Italy.

Malia Obama = Radiance. Ok. But why leave it at that, I ask? Why not Radium, Radiation, or Radioactivity? Or, in another direction, we could go with Refulgence, Resplendence, and Righteousness.

Sasha Obama = Rosebud. This one is my favorite. Remember the sled? No, of course not, all you remember are those big rubbery lips.

I rather like the "R" theme - it is such a nice letter, after all (wink, wink) - but the idea of giving important people nicknames does seem a little silly. After all, what's the use of having a secret name if everyone knows it? And, on the flip side, what's the use of having a secret ultra-cool name if no one knows it?

But all of this is beside the point, which is folklore. The nicknames we choose and use obviously can say a great deal about what we think of other people, and how we prefer to be thought of. You are free to think whatever you choose in regard to the nicknames chosen for our new President's family.

And now I have a few nicknames of my own to share:

Rufie - My favorite nickname. I'm not sure where it came from, but it's easy to say and sounds very babyish, so perhaps my younger sisters made it up when they were saying my name as babies? I like it ever so much better than "Ruthie," which makes me sound like I am 7 years old and wear a pinafore and pink bows in my hair.

Vue - I absolutely hate this nickname, primarily because of the tone and manner in which my sister used to say it to me when she was mad at me. It grates my ears just to remember it.

Bobba Oofa - Babyspeak for "Baby Ruth." I'm almost sure my brother Daniel came up with this name when we were palling around in the good old days, when we wore animal slippers and drove around in a cute green train and yellow caboose.

Cupcake - My mother calls me this, since she says I remind her of Irene in the William Steig book, Brave Irene (which has since become one of my very favorite books). She only ever calls me it when I give her a good-night kiss and call her by my special name for her, which I'm going to keep a secret.

Ruthena - This is a recently acquired nickname, on account of my appreciation for Greek mythology and the opportunity I had to visit the replica of the Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee, last August. My sister-in-law, Kirsti, who is quite talented in the area of nickname creation, came up with it in one of our numerous, nickname-laced emails to each other, and I have been fond of it ever since.

Though I don't count this as a nickname, the most common title by which I am hailed in our household, by far, is "Ru" - assumedly because my family is too lazy to complete the sound of my 1-syllable name. I bear no ill will towards the name, but I do insist on spelling it with a 'u' rather than an 'oo,' lest people confuse me with a certain small marsupial in a blue sweater.