My proverb can beat up your proverb, but which one is true?

"War does not determine who is right, but who is left." ~Proverb

In folklore class we are currently studying proverbs, which WordWeb handily defines as "an Old Testament book consisting of proverbs from various Israeli sages (including Solomon)." Hmmm. The second definition is more along the lines of what we mean by "proverbs" in general terms: "A condensed but memorable saying embodying some important fact of experience that is taken as true by many people." Note the connection between proverbs and folklore - both are concerned with embodying experience and expressing the firm beliefs of a people, while remaining witty, catchy, and short.

While researching some proverbs to study, I came across several lists of contradictory proverbs, and couldn't resist displaying my favorites here. What a wonderful resource to browse through for retaliation material when someone tries to spout the wisdom of the ages to your disadvantage!

Contradicting Proverbs

Birds of a feather flock together. Opposites attract.

It never rains, but it pours. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

Actions speak louder than words. Do as I say, not as I do.

The best things in life are free. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Don’t beat your head against a brick wall.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Don’t cross the bridge until you come to it.

Two heads are better than one. Paddle your own canoe.

More haste less speed. Time waits for no man.

You’re never too old to learn. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

A word to the wise is sufficient. Talk is cheap.

It’s better to be safe than sorry. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Nice guys finish last.

Hitch your wagon to a star. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. Clothes make the man.

The squeaking wheel gets the grease. Silence is golden.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Actions speak louder than words.

Whether this list means that we as American society are divided, diverse, or simply dishonest in our pick-and-choose method of proverb citation is another issue for another day. But I think it's safe and fair to say that there isn't a single one of these proverbs that will apply to every person in every situation. Is this a problem? Proverbs are meant to be short, catchy, and generally applicable. As folklore, the purpose of proverbs is to entertain as well as inform, to allow for a creative form of expression while creating a kind of cultural understanding between the speaker and listener. There is a standard of common sense which must be applied when giving and receiving proverbial advice. Any person educated in the culture of proverbs will understand the hint of truth behind the blunt, somewhat exaggerated proverb, and respond appropriately.

So in conclusion, you should always think twice before quoting a proverb "at" someone. But not more than twice, because, as you know, "He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit."